Sunday, 2 February 2014

This article was written in 2008 while I was working for World Vision Cambodia.


Title: Charya’s campaign against domestic violence bears fruits

“I easily got angry for no reason and I was not conscious of my mistakes. I was rude and looked down on my classmates and neighbors. In short, I was not a good student, daughter or sister”, says 19-year old Charya Chan, the oldest of four siblings.
Domestic violence has always been a way of life for Charya. Her 42-year old father Sokchan Teas, a primary school teacher, is an alcoholic. He would always become violent whenever drunk. “All of us, including my mother, just kept quiet and flee to our neighbors’ houses to escape his drunken wrath. Often, I hide under the bed and cry”, Charya recalls. Her mother Souphea Chan, 45, a farmer and all the children suffered in silence.

Bitterness rubbed on Charya and showed on her attitude towards life and on other people. “I never used polite, or even sweet, words to my parents. I just do whatever I want and never cared about other people’s feelings. Very often, I quarrel with my younger brothers and sister, ending up with beating each other”, Charya adds.

Things got worse when her mother scolded her for buying some clothes. “I got into a serious argument with my mother and decided not to talk to her for almost a month”, says Charya, adding, “ Then, my close friend Sophy convinced me to join a village meeting of Peace Road Curriculum Training of Reducing Gender Based Violence (RGBV) Project of World Vision Cambodia. The meeting turned out to be a life-transforming event in my life, and perhaps in other children’s lives who attended, too”, smiles Charya as she remembers the day.

“The Peace Road Curriculum Training was a great learning opportunity for me and the other youths in the community. It enabled us to participate in several activities such role playing and theatre arts depicting domestic violence. This led me to join the campaign against violence – sending the message to all the villagers in the community, especially my family”, says Charya bravely. She adds, “I learned that abusers should not be tolerated, so I decided to advocate about it my father openly”.

Charya is brave and smart. She decided to solve her family’s internal problem creatively by making slogans that reproach those who practice violence such as - In violence, we can never achieve happiness. She posted this and other related slogans on the wall of their house for her father to read and reflect on. Charya also tried talking to her father about his attitude, telling him about the shame and fear that his children have to endure daily because of what he does whenever he is drunk.

“Since I kept doing this campaign inside our house and in the village together with the Child Club, my father has been changed. Now, he uses only good words to us and all the children in the village. I am very happy and this makes me realize that I can do something as an advocate. My family now lives peacefully” Charya says beaming with pride at her achievement. Her neighbors were amazed at the transformation that took place because of Charya’s persistence. “Her father has become a man of peace. We believe Charya’s efforts made him realize his mistakes and change his ways”, great uncle Sambath Nhem, 53, a farmer says.

Charya has also changed. She no longer gets angry easily. She is always open to sharing her ideas and experiences to her neighbors so they can learn from her experience. Charya now respects others in the community and values people wherever they come from and whatever their status in life is. “When I deal with a problem, I begin to think about the cause and affects of what I will do. I always keep one lesson in mind, that “to be happy is not to hurt others and to be always sensitive in dealing with others. When I am stressed, I listen to music, enjoy the view of the rice fields or read a funny book”, says Charya with a grin.

“Charya has completely changed from what she is from the two years I have known her. I usually do a home visit and observe her activities in the club and during club training. She is courageous and very outspoken, a very good advocate for children” affirms Vorn Veth, 30, the RGVB Advocacy Officer for the Peace and Justice Programme.

“I am thankful to RGBV for giving me a chance to learn and develop myself, to be an advocate to my family and my entire community” adds a smiling Charya. She adds, “In all my subjects in school, I love Mathematics because it is easy. I dream of becoming a good NGO worker someday. I believe I could be effective in development work because of my experiences. Presently, I am a facilitator of child club of RGBV project so I know how to work with children and the poor in community to improve their lives”.

-Ends-

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