Vichheka Sok

This article was written in 2010 while I was working for World Vision Cambodia.

Title: A transformed family lives in peace and love 

Manith Seng’s father used to be known in her community as an alcoholic, and her family suffered domestic violence. However after an unbelievable change Manith’s family now serves as good role model for others in the community.

Located in a suburb nearby Phnom Penh, 8 year-old Manith lives with her parents and younger sister in a small house with a zinc roof.  At first look her house seems messy with small wooden pieces lying around.  Looking closer one would see that the wood is the materials for making Buddhist objects as Manith’s father Sok Chea, 30, and her mother Sreyneth Song, 33 make and sell sacrificial objects.

Within this house Manith’s family has suffered a long time from domestic violence at the hands of her father, an alcoholic who has also been known to be involved with gangsters and drugs.

“My parents quarreled daily, and my father did not help my mother to do housework or even earn an income for our family by helping to make sacrificial objects to sell in the market,” sadly said Manith.

“I used to see my father fight and shout insulting words at my mother, and he destroyed things in the house whenever he was drunk,” she added. “I could do nothing; I always embraced my little younger sister and hid near the bed and cried.”

Once Manith’s mother decided to run away from home for a while because she could not tolerate her husband’s addiction to alcohol and drugs, and Manith’s father had been stealing from the family income to pay for drugs.

Manith remembers how violence at home affected her studies. “I felt shame from my classmates and I didn’t want to go to school because I could not concentrate on studying,” she explained. “I would remember all of the images of my father being violent to my family and it embarrassed me to see my family in such a violence situation. I am so scared of domestic violence.”

With a sad face Manith shared, “I love my mother more than father because father beat me and throw plates and glasses at my mother. I don’t want to see that kind of situation anymore.”

When Manith became a sponsored child in 2008 World Vision staff began to conduct regular home visits to her house in the evening.

“I used to see World Vision staff visit my family very often, and talk with my father. They used good words that I did not hear from my father and my father seemed to change a little at that time. Although he was still often drunk, he stopped shouting insulting words and throwing things,” Manith remembers.

Mantih remembers that World Vision staff kept encouraging, consulting, and asking lots of questions to make her father considers his family’s well being, and gradually, he began to change.

“I was awakened with questions that World Vision staff asked me about the amount of money that I spent for alcohol compared to my income to support the family,” Manith’s father explained. “I started to think about my children’s education and their future.”

Invited by World Vision staff, Manith’s father began to participate in meetings and trainings about topics such as the value of education, hygiene, child rights, catfish raising, HIV and AIDS, and a self help group for domestic violence.”

Later on, self help group members selected Manith’s father as a leader of the self-help group. As the leader, Manith’s father is very keen to learn more as all the members have put their trust in him. He now has good relationships with others in the village and he is very active to participate in or conduct meetings in the community.

“My father now tries hard to earn income, and he stopped using violence and gave up alcohol. I am happy to see he has changed,” said Manith.

With a smile Manith shares about her family’s transformation, “I am happy now because I see my father helps my mother to do housework; he washes dishes, cooks, sweeps the house, and he teaches me how to read and write every night before going to bed. He always encourages me to study hard. He now loves us and uses kind words to his children and to my mother. Together as a family, now we all help in making sacrificial objects to exchange for money and support our living conditions.”

Asked about her dreams, Manith grins, “I want to be a teacher, so I can teach children in the community, and teach everyone not to use violence because it destroys property, it’s embarrassing, and it affects children’s feelings.”

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